As the new year approaches, I've decided to make 2009 my year to exercise. Sadly, I’ve been a coach potato all of my life. My family was never very sports minded while I was young and though I have remained fairly shapely most of the time (in spite of my love for sweets) I hit the golden age of 40 and without warning (damn my body) my metabolism left the building. I gained weight and went from being “shapely” to being quite “fluffy” (try size 2x fluffy). I tried fad diets and walking, but nothing consistently to make a difference. I just came to the conclusion this is who I am and I’m simply built for comfort, not speed.
One sleepless night (a common occurrence when you get older) I came upon an infomercial while watching TV. Now I don’t normally go for these types of things, I’m too jaded and suspicious to even care about their speals (what’s the catch?), but something about this particular infomercial made me P-A-U-S-E. As I popped another jellybean in my mouth I heard “Risk Free 30-days or your money back”. It was Susan Lucci from All My Children talking about “Malibu Pilates”. I thought, “Ah, so that’s a Pilate?” It’s not a special sandwich made on a grill, or a jazzercise move, or even a new kind of fish. I really had no idea what it was, so I became mesmerized by what I was hearing.
I continued to watch Susan talked about how quick and easy it was and how it sculpted her body. I figured if the 70 year old Susan Lucci could do it, so could I (she’s not really 70, this was my assumption – she’s been on All My Children for as long as I can remember). I decided I had to do something about my weight so I was going to get the Pilate Chair. Just think, no risk, 30 day money back, why not?
It arrived in 5 weeks just as they promised. Taking the chair out of the box and unpacking it seemed simple enough. Step # 1 states to remove all chair parts (springs and handles) and plastic from the chair – reminding you not to use sharp objects while doing so. 30 minutes later, I’ve removed 40 cable ties and tore through the plastic found under every screw and plate, now I’m sweating like a pig. There should be a warning placed after step #1, “If you’re sweating like a pig before step #2, then Pilates are not for you”. The final assembly step is to attach the springs to the “low resistant hooks”. Quite simply put, you must be a contortionist to complete this step. I had to straddle the chair, hang upside down, fold the chair inward, stretch the springs and hook them in place. Then stretch the chair open so that the legs are locked in place – PHEW! I stood up all red faced, and felt a bit dirty – I just played twister with a chair. The last instruction is to remove the springs when the chair is not in use – ARE THEY CRAZY?
Once I gained my composure, I realized that the time had come; the chair was ready for use. I eagerly sat on it and placed my feet on the peddles. I pumped and peddled 15 times and thought, wow – Susan was right, it IS EASY! Then all of a sudden, ouch – got a stitch in my side, I thought “I better stop, don’t want to overdo it”. Off I went for a glass of water, feeling as though I had just spent 30 minutes doing an intense cardio work out. Here’s hoping my next “workout” goes as smoothly as my first!
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